| UHG! Your kid is hanging out with some less than ideal "new friends" and has started to make some concerning choices and behaviors! What do you do? - Post all over Facebook about it because the shame will make them stop behaving badly.
- Scream at them and ban them from ever speaking to the new friends again.
- Completely ignore it because it's too hard to handle and feels scary.
- None of the above!
Let me reward you for picking "none of the above" with a strategy that I have found to be VERY helpful!
Create new habits in the transitions! That means, make the most of natural "breaks" to change things you don't like.
As a military family, I've moved a great deal. The coolest thing about moving is that it's a natural time to get rid of things, declutter, and reorganize! Not just stuff... but behaviors too!
Once I told my son Harry; "at the new house, you'll sleep in your own big boy bed" and that got him out of sleeping with me.
Another time, the kids got to "ride a school bus with other kids" at the new house.
You don't have to move to make these changes. Use anything as your "transition" period. For example, it's Summer so it's a great time to start something new!
If you didn't like who your kids were hanging out with at school, use the Summer to limit their time with those kids and bring them to places where they will meet and bond with different friends.
You can also create new habits that strengthen your own relationship with your kids. Here are some examples: - It's Summer so let's get ice cream every Friday!
- It's Summer so let's go to the park every day when I get home from work!
- It's Summer so let's plan 4 day trips that we can take! (Get the kids in on the planning)
- It's Summer so let's start eating outside together as a family on the picnic table.
- It's Summer so every morning let's go for a walk together!
Just use "Summer" as your excuse to bond!!
It is your bond with your child that acts like a shield for them against peer pressure, risky behaviors and choices, and temptations from a world that would love to suck them into it's control!
It's not a guarantee that they will always be safe, but it's the best guarantee for being as safe as possible!
No amount of screaming, blaming, shaming, or denial will create a sustainable change in your child's behavior. Only your influence can do that and only if they love, trust, and respect you enough to listen.... strengthen your relationship!!!
Please reach out if you need help before concern becomes crisis!!!
With love, gratitude, and inspiration,
Heather Paris
607-269-7815
www.liveinspirednow.com
Email me: heather@liveinspirednow.com
Coaching is a holistic alternative to therapy. It's fast, affordable, and highly effective! Just hit reply to this email if you'd like to know how coaching could help you or your family!
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